Oct 27, 2016
Under the Floorboards is a Gilmore girls podcast hosted by two SUPERFANS! We love to talk about all things Gilmore, and we want to bring a little of the magic of Stars Hollow into your lives.
Thanks to everyone who has listened and offered your feedback! We are still working out all those little kinks that come with not having a clue what we're doing :) Come along for a fun-filled hay-ride through Stars Hollow!
Enjoy and be on the lookout for our next episode, coming soon!
Oct 26, 2016
Under the Floorboards is a Gilmore girls podcast hosted by two SUPERFANS! We love to talk about all things Gilmore, and we want to bring a little of the magic of Stars Hollow into your lives.
Our first full-length episode is finally here!
Come listen to us relive the fun of our first glimpse of Stars Hollow and the girls.
Enjoy, and don't forget to check us out on iTunes!
Oct 25, 2016
7 Reasons Why I Hate Christopher Hayden, and Why You Should, Too
Christopher isn't exactly anyone's favorite Gilmore girls character. He's seen by all but a (misguided? confused? insane?) few, as just one of many obstacles standing between Luke and Lorelai. However, a few of us true believers hate Christopher with a deep, passionate loathing. Let's take a closer look at why I hate Christopher's ass-face guts, and why you should too.
- He ‘s a shitty dad.The first time we meet Christopher, he comes roaring into Stars Hollow on his motorcycle. Rory is, of course, overjoyed to see her dad. Lorelai…not so much. During their exchange Lorelai asks Chris what brings him to town. He replies that he was “just passing through” on his way to see his parents, so he thought he’d drop in on the Gilmore girls. What. An. Asshole. This casual statement has to hurt Rory on some level. To Chris, Rory is simply an afterthought. It was convenient for him to swing by, so he did.We find out in the next episode that this is the first time Christopher has EVER been to Stars Hollow. His nearly 16-year-old daughter has lived there since she was a toddler, and he has never visited. This is the moment that created- and perpetuates- my lifelong hate of Chris.He’s missed birthdays, doctor’s appointments, and all her firsts. He’s missed every lost tooth. He’s missed Christmas after Christmas. Now that Rory’s grown and the work of raising her is done, he wants to swoop in and be her buddy. Dick.
- He’s only around when things are good between him and Lorelai.When Christopher comes to town, you can bet he’s going to spend most of his time trying to get with Lorelai. During the aforementioned first visit to Stars Hollow, he takes advantage of Lorelai’s vulnerability after she gets an emotional beat-down from her parents. On another trip he lies to both Lorelai and Rory about his flourishing business and proposes to a flabbergasted Lorelai. Yet another time he sleeps with Lorelai and then proceeds to crush the girls’ hope that he is going to stick around for once.Worse yet, Christopher consistently cuts Rory out whenever he and Lorelai are on the outs.
- He’s always letting Rory down.It might be in one of a million small ways, like promising Rory a book he can’t actually buy. At other times he disappoints her monumentally, like when he gets Rory’s hopes up that he and her mom are going to get back together, or when he promises Rory he’ll stay away from Lorelai and then immediately breaks that promise. Christopher can always be counted on- to not be counted on.
- Every time he comes to town he fucks shit up for Lorelai.As mentioned above, Christopher takes advantage of an emotional Lorelai on his first trip to Stars Hollow; this on the night that Lorelai was supposed to be helping Luke paint. From that moment on, he leaves Lorelai a wreck of hurt feelings and confusion after every visit.
- He’s the “adult” version of Logan.‘Nuff said.
- He’s even more of a douche when he inherits big money.Christopher was only 90% worthless butthole before he inherits millions of dollars. The dough simply closes that last 10%. Throwing money around like a pimp, now he is not only worthless, but arrogant and condescending as well. Beauty.
Talking Lorelai into getting married without Rory there is despicable, and unforgivable.
Liking Christopher is cause for admittance to an institution. Simply dismissing him as an annoyance isn’t enough. A pure hate of Chris is all that will do. Join me, won’t you?
Oct 25, 2016
Logan Huntzberger's is often touted as the ultimate suitor for Rory Gilmore. With his quick-witted verbal sparring, Prince Charming good looks, and undeniable charm, it's easy to understand how a casual evaluation could lead one to this conclusion. With the Gilmore girls revival just around the corner, now seems like the right time for a lesson in dating- Logan style.
Rule #1- Be rich. The kind of rich that allows your family to look down their plastic noses at Gilmore money.
Rule #2- Be exceptionally good-looking. This is the closest thing to a job you should ever have.
Rule #3- Be a bad boy. Seriously. I'm not talking a Dean-off-the-bus-from-Chicago, 90s knee length trench coat, floppy - haired bad boy; or a cool, bookish, monosyllabic, gel'd haired Jess Mariano bad boy. I'm talking really bad. Break all the rules; heck, break all the laws. Get booted from school after school until only daddy's money and connections can save you. Live the lazy, worthless, playboy lifestyle to the hilt. Why? Two reasons: First, because you can. You're rich. You're beautiful. You're untouchable. You're bored. Secondly, chicks love a bad boy.
Rule #4- Be a jerk, but for goodness sake, be charming about it! This is extremely important. It is crucial that during your first few encounters with the girl you are pursuing, she regard you as the most shallow, worthless jerk on the planet- but a charming and exciting one ;D Plan an outrageous stunt to humiliate her in public, but make it something exciting that could be regarded as "sweet".
Rule #5- Be adventurous. After all, besides pissing off the parents and spending their dough, what else do you have to do? Travel the world. Jump off cliffs. Follow a huge wheel of cheese down a really steep hill. Chicks love a guy who inspires them to take risks and challenges them to live a little on the edge.
Rule #6- Let her come to you. Throw out your charming, rich, adventurous net and see what you drag in.
Rule #7- Once you have her, mess stuff up. A lot. You want the fact that you are a worthless, butt-faced miscreant to be well-documented and firmly entrenched in her mind, from day one. She'll try to "help" (i.e. change) you, but as long as you stay rich and attractive, you're in like Flynn. At such time as you have solidified your screw up status, throw her a curve ball once in a while by pulling your crap together and bailing her out of a tough day at work or having dinner with her grandparents. This is "normal" boyfriend stuff, but by doing it only occasionally and in between screwups, it will seem super special.
Rule #8- Avoid her friends and family as long as possible. Should you be forced into a situation where you have to meet them, do something really obnoxious like stealing a knick - knack or being a condescending jerk. Disguise your belittling as honesty unless the friend is an ex-boyfriend. In this case make no attempt to play nice. Use big words and put down his brightest accomplishments. *BONUS* When your girl storms off in a huff after you've berated her former boy-toy, you're free to assume you are broken up, thereby freeing you up to have sex with all the chick's you've been missing out on while in this "relationship".
Also, NEVER visit her on her home turf. Do not go to her home town until it's time to propose or you need a note from her mommy.
Rule #9- Grand gestures. Since you'll be screwing up a lot, you'll need a quick way to patch things up. Grand gestures are great, but time consuming. They usually require a lot of thinking and planning and even work. Meh. Instead, I suggest the Grand Genarasture. Here's how it works-money. Whenever your girl is in a tiff, just throw some of daddy's money at the problem. Do things that seem like grand gestures, but which require no thought or effort. Endless bouquets of flowers. Truckloads of candy. A coffee cart for a day.
Grand Generastures work great for gift giving as well. The more expensive, and less labor intensive and creative, the better. Hand over your car and driver for a day. Buy her a Birkin Bag. Set her up in your posh apartment.
You may ask, "But Logan, won't she realize these are only hollow gestures that require only money and a phone call?" If she does, dump her. (But she won't.)
Rule #10- Bond with her loser dad. After all, he's the future you!
Rule #11- Pretend to "clean up your act" by spending a year in Europe, "working" and meeting cute British girls with boys names. Once this plays out, blow millions of dollars in a hair-brained scheme. The sympathy you'll win will earn you months of getting out of stuff you don't want to do and blowing off steam while globe-trotting with your even more worthless pals.
Rule #12- Propose in a manner which will make her so uncomfortable she just may say yes to escape the embarrassment.
Follow these rules to land the perfect starter wife. And don't worry, if she turns you down you'll still have a fandom of girls mesmerized by your charm, good looks and bad boy spirit swooning for you. Who knows, they may even beg for you and she to be reunited ;)
Oct 25, 2016
Cha-Ching! Cashing in on the Gilmore girls Revival
The substantial fandom is collectively holding its breath as we await the return of our beloved coffee-swilling, quick-quipping, slightly spastic Gilmore girls. Several new announcements are being released daily. So many, in fact, that my co-host and I have devoted an entire segment of our Gilmore girls podcast, Under the Floorboards, to collecting and sorting revival news for our listeners. We have espoused the opinion for several weeks that this is a most excellent time to be a Gilmore girls fan. Of course for fans like us, anytime is a great time!
Unfortunately, all this awesome comes at a price. Every news source on the planet seems committed to cashing in on the revival. The articles range from funny and informative, to completely asinine. I’m here to discuss the latter. The most latter. The biggest, steaming pile of latter you’ve ever stepped in.
In an article from a news source I won’t list or link because I will in no way be furthering the spread of such non-sense, several “mistakes” made in the Gilmore girls, are pointed out. This article essentially reads like a hate letter to Team Palladino.
As fans, most of us can (grudgingly) accept the crazy-varied opinions of other fans. Team Jess or Team Dean? Christopher- yay or nay? Jackson’s condom cap- keep it or toss it? Whatever the argument, at the end of the day we respect the opinions of our fellow fans, even when we disagree. This is the world the Palladino’s created; our very own Stars Hollow.
The disparaging article must have been penned by someone who can’t stand the show, yet watched it anyway. (Come to think of it, they should co-host a podcast ;) I’m not sure what could be left to like after tearing down the show’s creator, executive producers, writers, and several major story lines and characters. What irritates me- to the point I had no choice but to respond- is that here you have a person who clearly doesn’t get the Gilmore girls at all, telling us all why it sucks. Worse yet, it is now making it's way all across the interwebs, leaving behind it a trail of poop three feet dep. This article is nothing more than a shameless attempt to cash in on our “little corner of the world,” and that sucks.
I will now take each of the points offered in said article, and explain why they were written by a poo-poo head.
Luke gets a love child…
On top of this nonsense, the article claims ASP, “slowly began to dismantle the show behind-the-scenes,” after failed contract negotiations with the CW. Folks, ASP keeps the Stars Hollow sign hanging in her house. She fucking loved the show, the actors and the fans- so much so she’s giving us all the ending we’ve been begging for, BECAUSE we begged for it!
Chris and Lorelai get back together
The Digger and Lorelai relationship
This relationship is referred to as "filler." While I like to think of all of Lorelai's non-Luke relationships as filler, that is not the spirit this statement was written in. Chris Eigeman is called a big guest star who the writers struggled to find a place for just because he was available. Though Jason is not Luke, thereby not good enough for Lorelai, I enjoyed their storyline greatly. Digger was the only of Lorelai's boyfriends besides Luke who ever really kept up with her, and his interactions with Emily were priceless.
Rory gets a haircut and turns into a bitch
Apparently going to Yale turned the formerly studious girl into a "swan princess". The article sites her involvement with the Life & Death Brigade as evidence to support this fact.
It is true, that Rory went through a lot of changes after entering Yale. She did, in fact, get a bitchin' new haircut, which I missed horribly for the rest of the series. She meets new people, tries new things, grows as a student and writer, and yes, develops a much more confident veneer as she sheds her mousy personality gradually. Some might call this a "mistake." I prefer to think of it as a character arc, or even- the typical college experience. But what do I know?
Rachel returns and the writers don't know what to do with her
Ok...did you even watch this show? You know this isn't Friends, right? There was that Rachel reference above, so maybe the author was confused.
Luke's Rachel was mentioned in an episode prior to her return, and their relationship is a key piece of the Luke puzzle that gives his character depth, as well as forcing Lorelai to deal with her own feelings for Luke.
This point also rambles on about the show having so many characters they didn't know what to do with them all. Would any Gilmore fan dispute the fact that every character- from townie to Rory- had a critical part to play in developing our love for Stars Hollow?
Dean gets dumber
Admittedly, I have always been bummed that Dean becomes less bookish as the series progresses. He was certainly a more well-rounded dude in season one, than anytime thereafter. However, this article treats Dean as if he were a knuckle-dragging dufus with no value at all, post first season. WTF?
Rory's two college gal pals
First of all- see above reference to all things season 7.
More importantly, Lucy and Olivia fucking rock! This is one of the few things about season 7 that worked for me. Besides the fact that I am in love with Krysten Ritter, Rory desperately needed a couple of sassy, quirky, gal pals. This article calls the girls, "utterly devoid of personality and purpose." I call them two scoops of awesome with a side of kick-ass. They are two of the biggest personalities in the final season, and a huge help in getting me through all the Logan crap.
Worse yet, this point includes Lindsay and Tobin as part of an "endless roster of useless characters." Wow. Just. Wow. I hate Lindsay passionately, but to call her useless is admitting you have no clue what the hell the Gilmore girls is even about. Lindsay is a pivotal character in developing Dean's story, as well as a truly entertaining addition to Dean and Rory's story. And Tobin?? Who- besides Michel- doesn't love Tobin?
Rory meets a naked dude who falls for her
#1- She's in college. Shit happens.
#2- Who wouldn't fall in love with Rory?
Jess was written off the show for a spinoff
What can be said? Whoops. While Jess was a beloved character, would you really want to begrudge the guy a chance at something to help him further his career? They tried something that didn't work. That's showbiz.
For the love of all that is right in the world, if you just have to cash in on the revival, please watch the show, love the show and respect the show. Gilmore girls fans are part of a culture. We are residents of Stars Hollow, and we get ticked when people mess with our neighbors.
Oct 14, 2016
Many of you may have noticed that we are experiencing some technical difficulties. Our newest episode- S2, E4- The Road Trip to Harvard- is up and running. Unfortunately, all of our previous episodes are temporarily unavailable. We had some hosting issues and we are currently in the process of migrating all our old eps to a new host. Please stay tuned!
Don't forget- we will be broadcasting from the Gilmore girls Fan Fest next weekend!
Don't forget- we will be broadcasting from the Gilmore girls Fan Fest next weekend!
Oct 14, 2016
Welcome to another episode of Under the Floorboards!
This week we sat and forever am at work here. Elizabeth and Rob ponder the fate of Certs(z?), applaud the use of the underappreciated word "frittering", and discuss watching porn as a legit career option.
Enjoy and be on the lookout for our next episode, coming soon!